You Found Me
by Angel of Misery
Summary: In his final hour, Xemnas contemplates his feelings without a heart, and as comrades fall around him, he wonders about the absence of the woman he needs most.


Hello, Angel of Misery here, the lady who hardly ever updates. Heheh...I'll return to my other stories....some day. In the mean time, I wrote this oneshot for my friend, who is currently obessing over Xemnas. This could change in a week. It's also my very first attempt at a bit of angst, it was kind of interesting to write. Also, I got the idea from listening to the Fray song You Found Me, which is why it overlaps in the story. Finally, I just put this up because both my friend I really love how it turned out - so you can review if you like, but nothing too negative, thanks...

I do not own Kingdom Hearts, or any of the Fray's songs. So dont sue me, please? Thanks.

**~You Found Me~**

_Its amazing. How everything you strive for, everything you've hoped to achieve, can be taken away from you in the blink of an eye. I was so close to realizing my dream, and so confident that I would finally become a Somebody. But in the end, all of my plans were destroyed by a single Keyblade bearer, my comrades following suite. And in my final moments...I died alone. _

"Xemnas! Superior, sir!" Saix yelled, rushing up the stairs with a sense of urgency, his yellow eyes bright with concern and yet calculating at the same time, "the enemy has infiltrated the castle!"

"Casualties?" Xemnas inquired, his gaze shifting from the wondrous Kingdom Hearts to his most trusted ally.

"Several hundreds of Nobodies and Heartless alike, and also, Sora has managed to fell Xigbar." Saix explained, "also, Sora has brought Riku and Kairi with him, so there's the likelihood that the three of them have split up to cause more collateral damage."

"Our numbers are dwindling, but if we can only acquire more hearts..." Xemnas murmured, glancing to the side, "and, is there still no sign of...her?"

"Nobody's seen Ynna since she left the Organization, sir. We've made many attempts to contact her..." Saix replied uneasily, hesitantly placing a hand on his master's shoulder, "I don't think she'll be here, sir."

"...." Xemnas's eyes slid shut, "let me know if the situation changes."

"Of course, sir."

_I can remember it so clearly...do Nobodies even 'have' memories, if we do not even have a heart? Eitherway...that world, I knew not the name...she seemed so fascinated by me, I'm not even sure why. When I offered a place at the Organization, she agreed seemingly without even thinking about it...willing to leave her world, friends, family, just to come with me, knowing my plans and my desires...maybe if I had a heart, I would understand the nature of these decisions better. But still, I was glad...that she agreed...it made me, happy?_

"Problems?" He spoke again as Saix now appeared at his side through a portal, "it doesn't seem so long ago since your last report."

"Well, it seems we've greatly underestimated the power of the blade." Saix murmured, gazing up at Kingdom Hearts with an almost crazed kind of longing, "how much longer are we going to be forced to wait? Why does Kingdom Hearts tease us so?"

"The completion of Nobody takes time, you know that. Now, report. What's going on?" Xemnas demanded, causing the Luna Divider to sigh and wrench his eyes the glowing heart in the sky, "Luxord has now fallen. The only members left unscathed are yourself, myself...and Axel, though who he aligns himself with is questionable. Sir, what should we do?"

"I'm trusting you to do what's right, Saix. I must stay here and monitor Kingdom Heart's regeneration, you know that." Xemnas replied calmly, raising an eyebrow, "are you perhaps unable to defeat Sora on your own? Unconfident of your skills?"

"Of course not." Saix growled angrily, "with the power of Kingdom Hearts, I am unstoppable! But, should something happen, what will you do?"

"If you were to somehow fail in your duties, _I _will finish off the Keyblade bearer. And until then, I will wait for her return." Xemnas commented, turning his back to him.

"Sir, I don't think..." Saix started uneasily, before blurting out in a rush, "I don't think Ynna will _come, _sir!"

"She _will _come. She promised me." Xemnas replied darkly, "and if I hear you say those words again, I'll finish you off myself before Sora gets to. Leave."

"But sir, you have to realize..."

"_**Leave!**_"

Without another word, Saix opened a portal and left wordlessly, leaving Xemnas with a strange feeling in his chest, something like an ache, but with nothing there _to _ache.

_After all, where would Ynna go if not to come back here...? That day she left her home world, I explained to her...that once she left, she could never come back. If she ever changed her mind, with everything she had already seen...I wouldn't, couldn't allow her to remain alive. She understood that...said she only wanted to understand more of the world, more of these Nobodies...and in the end, she always said..."I won't leave, because I have to see what you look like as a Somebody, right?" She promised to stay by my side, at least until I acquired a heart...I wonder why she would do that? Companionship? Even if that were true, I have no heart. I cannot...feel, anything. So even if Ynna did have some sort of attachment to me, I can never return the feeling until I have my own heart. The others merely wish to be whole. My desire is...when I have my heart, I can, we can..._

"Saix?" Xemnas looked up solemnly as a cry pierced the night, "...has he fallen victim to the blade as well...?"

"Sir!" Saix warped in once more, for the final time as he held his chest, disintegrating more by the minute, "...it appears I failed, sir..."

"It appears that you have. So much for being unstoppable." Xemnas replied with a cold smirk, "what do you have to say for yourself, Saix?"

"Forgive me, Superior. I am...ugh, not worthy to serve under you." Saix muttered sarcastically, groaning as pain spread throughout his body, "I honestly thought...it would end better than this. I wanted...to be whole. I truly wanted a heart, more...more than anything!"

Xemnas watched him silently, sinking to all fours on the ground as the rate of death began to spread; if he had a heart, he would have felt...remorse, at losing one of his closest friends to a mere brat. But all he could do was watch quietly, like an experimenter watching a specimen.

"Why...why did Kingdom Hearts...deny me of a heart? Why did...she fail me?" Saix whispered, looking up to his Superior, something akin to fear flickering in his eyes, "why, Xemnas, you tell me _why!_"

"I'm afraid..." Xemnas started, slowly drawing his beam sword, "you were not worthy of receiving one, old friend. But I shall release you from suffering...goodbye."

_So, if Axel has truly aligned himself with Sora...I am the last one left. The head of the Organization, standing alone under the heavenly light of Kingdom Hearts. And she's still not here...? Did she never meet with the informants I sent...? I always thought, even if everyone would leave me, she would still be here...have I possibly misjudged the situation? Did Ynna...truly never care about me at all?_

"Xemnas!" Sora, the brown-haired Tsuna look alike Keyblade bearer announced, now at the top of the Organization building, weapon at the ready, "you're going to pay for everything you've done!"

_Where were you...when everything was falling apart...?_

"So you say, Sora. You may have defeated all of the others, but the Organization is not truly dead as long as _I _remain alive!" Xemnas declared, drawing his beamswords again, "and I will not be defeated by the likes of you, not when completion is so close!"

_Why'd you have to wait? Where were you?_

"Bring it on!" Sora yelled, charging forward with his Keyblade, creating a metallic _clang _noise when it met with brilliant red beamswords, "Kairi and Riku are counting on me, I _can't _lose!"

"And I have reasons for which _I _cannot concede, so let us see who's more determined, Keyblade Bearer." Xemnas sneered, slashing hard with his weapons.

_Losing her...the only one who's ever known...who I am, who I'm not and who I want to be...no way to know how long she will be next to me..._

"Ugh!" Xemnas stumbled back as his opponent shifted into his Master form and began striking with an array of blows, the Key moving so fast it was merely a blur of silver and yellow; the Superior's vision started to throb with reddish colour as the pain spread across his torso.

_You never left me no messages...you never sent me no letters...you got some kind of nerve, taking all I want..._

"Sora!" Riku yelled, dropping down beside him, "let's finish this, and go home!"

"You said it! This is it, Xemnas!" Sora agreed, both of them slicing through Xemnas with their twin Keyblade attack, not caring in the least as the head of the Organization fell backwards, his back hitting the ground hard, his breath being knocked out of him hard and his eyelids flickering, before slowly closing.

_In the end...everyone ends up alone...where were you...why'd you have to wait...?_

"Come on, guys. Let's set this place alight and go home. We've deserved it, huh?"

Xemnas's eyes flickered open once more as the three of them (Sora, Riku and Kairi) left down the stairs, groaning as black and white spiky flecks of his existence flashed before his eyes. _I'm...disintegrating...dying. I...I lost? But...Kingdom Hearts has...failed me as well? _

_Lying on the floor...surrounded, surrounded..._

"Was...I...unworthy of...a heart?" Xemnas whispered, unable to find the energy to move, let alone talk normally, "but I...had someone...to love..."

"_Xemnas!_" A familiar voice shrieked, and a familiar, blurry face appeared over his, but as more of him began to fade, his mind felt murkier and his eyes began to slide shut again, "...Ynna...?"

_Lost and insecure...you found me, you found me..._

"Where...were you?" He breathed, coughing profusely, "when I...needed you...t-the most..."

"I'm sorry, I...Xemnas, what happened?!"

_Just a little late...you found me, you found me..._

"At least...even if...I had lost faith...the last thing I see will be..." Xemnas murmured, before starting to spasm as the last stages of death began to take hold and the pain felt unlike anything he'd ever felt before. _How can I...feel any of this...?! I don't...have a...does that mean, without a heart, one can still...have all my efforts been...for nothing at all...?_

"Xemnas! Open your eyes! Xemnas! _Xemnas!_"

_Lost and insecure, you found me, you found me...  
Lying on the floor...where were you, where were you?  
Why'd you have to wait...  
Just a little late...you found me, you found me...  
Why'd you have to wait...to find me, to find me...?  
~_

--

There we go. Short little oneshot of Xemnas contemplating, then dying. Hope you enjoyed reading. Incidentally, this story made my friend (Ynna) cry, so I think I must have put too _much _angst into it. xD Lol! Thanks for reading~!  
**Angel of Misery**


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